The other title for this entry was "Why I'm not good enough" but when I wrote it out that didn't quite fit, though it does perhaps better capture the way I feel right now.

Once again I've said everything I have to say. And once again it did absolutely no good. I can't help but feel that if things had played out differently, if I had groked rightly at the cusp, that things would be different now. But instead they are how they are.

She told me in the nicest way possible that what she feels for me isn't enough for a relationship. Moreover, she told me that she wouldn't let anyone get in the way of her future, especially someone who is overly dramatic like me.

There was nothing I could say. There was nothing I could do. There was no arguement that could change her mind. Why is it that the one thing I'm looking for in a girl is the one thing that defeats me? It seems like a great poetic injustice.

Iron