Back at home. Working my ass off and trying to make some room for fun as well. With my new job I'm doig four presentations a day (more if I can get them). And am looking for a second job. I'm really still hoping that this vector marketing gig works out, it's reall pretty fun to do and I don't have to lie to anyone so it's cool.

Back to musing on the Bonnie situation. I feel like she really has all the power here, since I'm pretty sure I've made my feelings clear, an they're that the moment she says so we're back together. Am I a fool? Should I not be pursuing the thing at all? Sometimes I hate myself for falling and love and thereby allowing myself to be tortured like this. But hey, whada yah gonna do? I can't help loving someone. Especially when they're a caring and wonderful person like my bonnie. Well, not "my" bonnie anymore. I think that's really what hurts the most. I haven't talked to her in days, which also just stinks. She's working days and I'm busy at nights since thats when most of my appointments are. Despite all of this I am maintaining a remarkably sunny outlook (irony: it's rainging outside right now). The Tao teaches us that all judgements are relative and good times are only such in relation to bad times. Guess which type I judge right now to be.

I still haven't decided whether or not to go back to the twin cities this summer. I'll have to go eventually, to get things and pay my rent, but whether or not I stay there or here is the question.

Strong as steel.

Iron