How can you fix a mistake of words? You can't cover it up because it's already gone. You can't take it back because it's really no longer yours. You can't pretend it was never said because you're not one whom it matters to. So how do you fix a mistake of words?

I guess everything has changed because I said something that I didn't mean, and it got taken in a way that I never intended. Why am I such an idiot? Why don't I know when to keep my mouth shut? Why do I say things just to find out the reaction to them? I feel like I can say anything to her without fear, but I guess I never stopped to think that maybe there are things I should fear. Like maybe my words will change her perception of me. Words, so powerful, so poignant, I know these things, but still I talk sometimes like words mean nothing.

Once I was loved, seemingly without condition. Now it seems that I've ruined that, with words. Tainted now are the feelings it seems. But somehow the taint comes not from a lie. Strange how I've never lied and yet still the question of my motive arises.

Stupid, me. Nothing can be said that will make things better. None of this that I've written makes the situation clearer. A sharpened blade of words slipped and cut the one that I hold most dear. But as one often finds the sword is double edged, in it's turn it has found me. For in dealing damage to my love it has cut me deeply.

She no longer has trust, only questions for everything. A caress, a kiss, what is behind these? For me all in these things is love. But eyes clouded by my words see treachery, see dishonesty, see pretense. How can I prove myself? What shall I do? what say? But there is nothing. Without trust there is no reason to believe any word I say that might console. Without trust what shelf is left whereon love might rest?

My wounds will stay until long after hers have healed (if such a day as her healing comes). For I have injured love, I have injured the deepest part of my soul, I have injured that which matters most to me. and as penance my thoughts do daily rip that wound open and the blood flows fresh.

Weakened by the flame, bent battered and cleaved

Iron