We're not as deep as we think we are. No matter how far anyone goes, there will always jsut be that next layer to pierce. there will always be the blind self just waiting to rear it's ugly head. I say things that appear to have meaning and thought, but sometimes I just want to gag on it all shoot myself.

On to other things, it's occured to me that breaking up with Katie is necesarry. We've just sort of been sitting and going nowhere and it's just...boring as shit. I guess I just can't stand to be bored in a relationship. That and her stories about her fucking friends are really starting to bother me, gab gab gab. "Once dan did this... This one time Casey and adam went to the store... Did I tell you about the funny thing jon did that one time..." Seriously, I don't really know any of the people she won't shut up about, which really just makes the stories meaningless to me. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck, I just don't know how to do it easily. I suppose I could tell her I'm gay... she'd probly believe it, but then I'd probably have to deal with her fixing me up with someone and I can't have that. i guess I'm going to have to go with the old "let's be friends" approach. fuck fuck fuck.

At the behest of poo: Iowa is boring, boring as shit, nothing to do here except get drunk and annoy pigs.

I'm gonna go do some thinking. Watch out for a second update today.

Ryan