Ok, so i finished my mission of the week today and it's only tuesday. I watched the all five seasons of Daria in three days. I think that's an effecient use of my college time. Well, back to the grindstone.

I think I'm afraid of sex. I feel ashamed to be saying that, which in turn makes me feel more ashamed of myself. I feel that if I could just get around that one knot, my whole psychosis might unwind itself. On one hand, I think it helps to keep me from treating women like objects. But on the other, it makes me feel, well, inadequate. As a male, I feel that if I don't have sex, then I'm doing something wrong. But I also have conflicting morality issues with putting pressure on anyone I come in contact with about sex, leading to a non-communication.

But then I'm also unsure that my feelings of insecurity could possibly revolve around a single issue. So I wonder what other things my phobia is obscuring.

On the other...fuck hands...

I met this girl this week. Well, I didn't meet her this week. I mean, I've known her for a long time. Well, not a long time, and I mean...Goddamit, I don't know what the fuck I mean. Ever since I hung out with Katie, I just keep thinking about her. I think this is what revived this stupid preoccupation with, fear of...let's go with intimacy this time.

In other news I'm going to try bonding with my parents and brother.

Damn me and my psycho-babble.

peace all