So, yeah. Everyone has cryptic entries that make no sense to me whatsoever. Now normally, I would never admit to something like this, but I'm feeling very left out of everything again, and this is just another major contribution to it.

Who I am pisses me off. The things I do sometimes are things that I hate. I laugh at rascist jokes, I demean women, I make fun of people who don't deserve it. Basically, I hate me.

Nowhere makes me realize this fact more than going to GEA. Now this may sound stupid, but even though this happens, I still love GEA. It may make me feel shitty sometimes, but on a whole I think that it helps me improve myself as a person.

So I went to lunch with conrad and bree. It was weird. When you're with opposite ends of a political spectrum, the competing forces can be mind boggling. More to the point, the both of them are so above the curve and let's face it, intellectual Titans, that I'm left with a puny 28 while bree talks about her 800 verbal score. (yes, I know one is ACT and the other is SAT) But it makes me feel stupid.

I've said it before, but I'm saing it again. It's not that I'm incredibly stupid, it's that I tend to hang out with people who are much smarter than I am.

yeah I know you're tired of me saying it, but fuck off, this is my space.

Moving on

I lie. Alot. And I know that this sounds commonplace to many people, but I've always considered myself a generally honest person, and I'm beginning to realize just how much that isn't the truth. But, it's not so much that I lie for personal advantage, I lie alot so people won't have to deal with my problems and their own. I mean, people ask questions they don't really want answers to. and then they complain about people venting and putting their problems on them. So when someone asks how I am, I reply "fine," or when someone says "what's wrong?" and I say "Nothing" or "don't worry about it." Lies, lies, all lies.

If you don't want to know, don't ask.

I may hate people, but I hate myself more.