So I'm not using this space like I used to. Several attempt to renew my writings here have failed. I think that maybe what needs to be done is to take writings that I do elsewhere and post them here. For the most part I assume this will be the weekly column I'm doing for the Herald-News, the newspaper where I work. Other than that maybe some short stories will pop up or a segment from the novel I'm working on.

If any literary agent happens to stumble across this then feel free to get in touch with me to represent me and get me a book deal.

That having been said, here's the first column.

A few weeks ago a column I wrote about organic food stirred up some feedback and perhaps raised the ire of some readers. Above all, it is good to know that someone out there is reading what I�m writing.
This week, I thought I�d take a stab at an even more controversial issue that people and politicians will probably never agree on.
This is an important issue for everyone young women, old men, married people, singles.
How does one go about eating a sandwich?
Of course the standard is just to pick up your favorite meat and cheese that you have carefully laid between two pieces of bread. This is all well and good until you come to a particularily messy sandwich like barbecued pork or a really full peanut butter and jelly.
When it comes to these you might consider cutting to avoid wearing half of your meal. This can be particularily helpful on certain social situations, a first date for instance.
For these sorts of eating it may be best to cut. But how do you do it?
I myself have come to favor the triagular single cut. This culinary equivalent of finger painting can be achieved by taking a knife of any kind and slicing from one corner of the bread to the other after the sandwich is complete.
I find that this method allows for the bread pieces to be big enough to hold the fixings I�ve piled on and yet small enough for easy one-handed eating.
The variation on the single triagular cut is the double triangular cut in which two slicings intersect in the center of the sandwich to form four pieces. This can be especially useful if you�re dipping a sandwich, such as a grilled cheese, into soup, such as tomato.
My girlfriend disagrees with my slicing policy, making us at odds over lunch preperation. She believes in the rectangle split. This cut usually runs from the top of the bread down the center, bisecting the sandwich into two rectangular halves. I am told that this allows for larger bites of the sandwich that the pointed ends of the triangular cut simply does not allow.
The double cut variation to this yields four sandwiches which are essentially one quarter the size of the original. I don�t know about you, but rarely am I hungry enough to eat four sandwiches. Also, if you have used a round lunch meat to construct the sandwich then you are now left with a bare corner in each sandwich.
One would think that the two basic cuts would cover it, but certain �creative� individuals won�t let things rest.
Occasionally, cuttings actually remove part of the sandwich. Children are often known to request a sandwich with the crusts cut off. Why the young are so reluctant to masticate that particular portion of bread is a mystery that eludes top scientific minds to this day (this might be because they don�t really care).
Other more delighting shapes for the young can be achieved by using cookie cutters. This is also a method used by those wishing to host a tea part and serve finger sandwiches.
If you can imagine a shape, then their is probably a way to attain it in your sandwich.
Really there is no �best� shape, there is only what you prefer.
In other important sandwich related issues, where do you begin your sandwich?
Some people like to start at a corner. This affords a way to begin a messy sandwich while avoiding the problems discussed earlier. The number of corners available depend on the cutting process or lack of it. A sandwich that had four corners at the beginning has 16 after being cut into 4 squares.
There is also the option of not deciding on a start or an end by simply eating the sandwich in one bite. This can be easily accomplished provided that the sandwich is not the heavily stacked �dagwood� style and eater has a large mouth. There is a slight choking hazard, but, assuming adequate chewing, things should go smoothly.
If you�re part of the group of people I like to call the �savorers� you take the exact opposite of the single bit method. Your goal is to extract every bit of enjoyment from the sandwich by taking small bites. That must be some very tasty mustard you�re using.
In the middle of these two philosophies is the halving method. This type of eater might begin by chomping off half of the sandwich but then bites progressively smaller bites as they get down to the end. This can often be seen in people who eat lunch at their desk. Their hunger conflicts with their desire to have a long lunch break so they eating slows down toward the end.
No matter what shape your sandwich is in or the method you use to consume it, I hope the next one is just as delicious as the ones your mother used to make when you were young (or better if your mother made you eat dry tuna fish, sardine sandwiches or something equally unappetizing).